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The Most Powerful Communication Tool

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ACKNOWLEGE AND VALIDATE

By: Jacqueline T.D. Huynh

acknowledge

One of the most powerful parts of communication is

Acknowledging and Validating.

 

Acknowledging is letting someone know we are really listening to what they said. It is a deep level of paraphrasing or mirroring back what the other person said. It invites someone to give you a deep level of information and it establishes rapport and trust

Acknowledgment Statement examples:

acknowledge-2

  • “What you’re saying is….”
  • “Let me see if I get this….”
  • “What you’re telling me is that….”
  • “I’m hearing you say….”
  • “In other words…..”

Validating is letting someone know they have the right to feel the way they do. It is letting someone know you can see things in their perspective. It helps the person feel “normal” and that it is OK to feel the way they do even if it is just for the moment. Validating of emotions is NOT saying someone is right or wrong, or agreeing in any way.

Validating Statement examples:validate

  • “You have every right to feel that way because….”
  • “That’s perfectly normal (or natural). It can be very upsetting when something like that happens.”
  • “You feel hurt & angry (acknowledge), it makes sense you feel resentful.”
  • “Based on your values (or your belief system, or the way you saw that), it’s no wonder you feel that way.

calm

You will find that there are many times this process of Acknowledging and Validating will diffuse the intense emotions and allow the other person to come back into to themselves and see the learnings so they are able to find solutions themselves.

Now pair up with a family member. Each person talk about an incident that happened recently that made them upset/mad/sad/frustrated. The other person will practice “acknowledging” and “validating” and follow that up with an empowering and open-ended question.

An open-ended question is a question that can not be responded by an answer of “yes” or “no”. An open ended question requires deeper thinking which will lead the person to find his/her own answer that resonates with them.) Then switch with your partner

Share with your partner what the experience was like and what thoughts and emotions came up during the exercise.

family-meeting

Leadership Tools (Part 3) – Problems or Opportunities

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A company once sent two shoe salespeople to an area in Africa where they had never sold any shoes. One was of their senior, most experienced salesmen, Tom, and they expected big things of him. The other was an optimistic rookie named Cynthia. She didn’t have much experience, but she had a lot of enthusiasm. They figured she might be able to sell a few pair of shoes.

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Who is the Master of Your Life?

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What is a master? It is someone who resonates with success. It’s a person who’s mindset automatically attracts the right people, places, events, and opportunities, and it’s that same mindset that allows the person to jump all over all of those opportunities with gusto, and without fear or hesitation.

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What’s the Difference Between Feelings and Emotions?

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The words “feelings” and “emotions” are not interchangeable, although most people use them that way. Feelings are physical; also known as a physiological response – for example, a pit in your stomach, tightness in your throat, or simply a sensation of warmth. Emotions, on the other hand, are what actually what create those physiological responses and feelings.

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What Qualities Do Successful Leaders Have in Common?

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If people follow you simply because of your title or position then you are managing and not leading. This is very different. Managing is more directive, overseeing & making task happen. There’s nothing wrong with this but a leader will set a vision, goal, a drive and a commitment to achieve that vision, and the skills to make it happen. Then he/she will inspire the team to get to that goal or direction.

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Fear Blocks (Part 4): Beware of the Gremlin!

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This barrier is the gremlin within every one of us: the inner critic. You know that little voice in your head? That voice that tells you not to try, never to take a risk, always to take the safe road, and to compromise your life by playing small? That’s your gremlin, and the message from your gremlin’s warnings is that you’re just not good enough to reach the summit of success.

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